Creating mindful moments in your life is simple—all you need is you.
Once you’ve got you, you can simply take a moment, any moment, to pause and notice what’s happening, right in front of you.
This is where it might get more challenging; not like checkmate challenging, more like putting your phone away, or pulling yourself away from the unconscious conversation happening in your head, so you can focus on the present moment.
It’s hard, I know, but as one of our favourite authors, activists and thought leaders, Glennon Doyle says, ‘we can do hard things.’
When you come into the now moment you refocus your attention to the present, which puts a momentary pause on the automatic, incessant chatter in your mind.
For that moment, nothing is passing through other than the raw material being gathered from the situation—the smell of the coffee grinds, the pause as you wait in the queue at the supermarket check out, the sounds of the cars passing by, your breath. Thoughts arise, but they are observed, rather than engaged with.
Your interpretation of a situation begins to happen with newness and curiosity. Past experiences lie dormant, not influencing your interpretation, elaborating on details, or judging them. It’s the past experiences (and the beliefs attached to them) that start to create ideas which then lead you to feeling guilty or not good enough.
Worry or anticipation around the future subsides. We momentarily stop attaching meaning to a mental model of the world—fiction, not reality—like that mum who probably doesn’t like you, or whether your kid is being challenged enough, or why she hasn’t nailed that back flip—she’s been trying for five years after all.
Mark Twain said, “Most of the worst events in my life, never actually happened.” When we project towards the future, we’re making up stories. We begin to listen to the rumours in the mind, which will probably never even happen.
Creating mindful moments of pause allows you to rise above the thinking mind rather than sinking below it.
Over time, these moments of presence lengthen.
Instead of becoming immersed in your thoughts and feelings, you will begin to observe them without attachment, like David Attenborough observes gorillas in the wild—not engaging, but watching with kindness and curiosity from a safe distance.
You will start to notice when you’re dwelling in the past or projecting towards the future and how these moments don’t serve you, your children or your relationships. Awareness of your inner speech gives you the information you need to continue to train your mind and change your brain.
You’ll begin to make choices to come into presence because you know, when you’re mindfully aware of the present moment, you start to feel lighter.
Long, conscious breaths, correcting your slouching body and resting your tense shoulders, brows and jaw, a bee buzzing around giving life to our planet right in front of your eyes — these simple, collective mindful moments take away the density of life.
Once you have awareness, you need to dwell in that mentality for a prolonged period of time so the body and brain can recognise the shift, and alter biologically. That is when change happens. The more we do this, the more we change our psychological and neurobiological programming, this means less mum guilt, less control over our children, more wisdom of our inner self, more freedom, even in the uncertainty.
You have a choice with how you perceive your mental, physical and emotional body. That choice begins with awareness. Those thoughts and feelings (negativity, unworthiness, anger, resentment, judgement) don’t control you.
By making the unconscious conscious, you can then choose to respond with skill. You can choose like Glennon says, to do hard things. You can break thought patterns.
Start creating mindful moments in your life now, and feel the lightness. You can start with just 4 minutes a day with our free guide, we created it with you in mind: the busy mum who deserves the relief that comes with daily conscious, mindful moments.